The parenting books attempt to prepare you for all that being responsible for a brand new human entails. They warn you about growth spurts, teething and sleepless nights. They talk you through weaning, biting, tantrums and tears. They then try to tell you that everything will work out and that your precious, vulnerable and often noisy tiny human will fill you with love from the moment they are placed in your exhausted arms. And they do. An unending and immeasurable amount of love.
What these books, experts and professionals forget to tell you about is that moment when your baby flies free. That moment you realise they are ready to find their own way in this beautiful, scary life. That moment ABBA starts singing inside your head and your baby is slipping through your fingers… Damn you ABBA. How do you cope with that? How do you let go? I wish I knew.
All I know is that we have to, that these tiny humans are their own people. May be once my youngest reaches this stage it’ll be easier. I don’t think it will though. We just need to reassure ourselves that we’ve done our best to equip them with the skills to grow, be happy and find their feet.
I love my children. They’ll be good adults and in the meantime there’s gin to cope and tissues to dry tears…for all of us.
I’m having my usual coffee and almond croissant before work. It’s my time to stop, reflect and gather myself together before a busy day in customer service. I used to go into work early to catch with all the little jobs I thought I should be doing so I didn’t let anyone down. I also used to work through my lunch breaks as I told myself I needed to be hyper-productive. Over the past few months I’ve been changing that. I go for a walk at lunchtime, I take 20 minutes to myself in the morning and the overwhelming result of this simple chamge is that I’m (mostly) happier, calmer and ready for my working day.